Save me for I am now beyond the wall.

Mmmmmmmm Yeaaaaa....

Wed, 13 Oct 2004 03:45:34 GMT

Hi all. Its been a bit, eh? nothing much has been going on... school and more school. Drinking, smoking, school... school. Yea. Umm, I've been feeling shitty, as usual. About everything, myself, my life... any thing I can possibly be involved in. I don't feel as if I fit in anymore. But did I ever? I don't know. I guess I can't know from my own perspective. Well I'd go on with my sympathetic fest towards myself, but I'll save everyone from the much anticipated boredom to occur after such conversation as this. Even though it's not a conversation at all. To let everyone know, I've been fuckin' around with myspace more than the journal so check me out there. Even though I don't put entries in it really, thats what this jammie is for. MMMMMMKKKKKKK then? Well, I'll be back later when there isn't vultures circling around me. laters.

Do you know me as well as you should????

Sun, 19 Sep 2004 08:16:03 GMT

WELL??? DO YOU? Fill it out and reply FOCKERS. ~LOVE~ME~

1. My name:

2. Your Name:

2. Where did we meet?:

3. Take a stab at my middle name:

4. How long have you known me?:

5. How well do you know me (a lot, not so much, nothing)?:

6. Do I smoke?:

7. What's my favorite color?:

8. When you first saw me what was your first impression?

9. My age?:

10. My birthday?:

11. Color Hair?:

12. Color eyes?:

13. Have you ever had a crush on me?

14. Have you ever been jealous of me?

15. What's one of my favorite things to do indoors?:

16. Do you remember the first things I said to you when we first met?

17. What's my favorite type of music?:

18. What's one of my favorite things to do outdoors?:

19. Am I shy or outgoing?

20. Would you say I'm funny HAHA or funny (sarcastic)?:

21. Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules?:

22. Would you consider me a friend?:

Gag me and call me SLAPPY!

Fri, 17 Sep 2004 04:29:27 GMT

Yea so Im chillin here with Vin and Laurennn. Had a bunch of people here tonight. HMMMMMMMM Jessica, Lauren, Lia, Jenna, Soto, Jonny, Danny, Jill and the previous two names. We played a shitload of games of scattagories (however the fuck you spell). We played for like two hours and it provided much entertainment... got to see who all the smart people actually are, lol. But we're here now watching some TNA wrestling and just chillin out. I gotta wake up tomorrow around 10 and Im going shopping with MaDukes at Woodbridge. HELL YESSSS. I need clothing BADDDDDDDDDDDDDD. Like real bad. I'll hit up some Hot Topic and JcPenny ohh yea nice mix huh? Anyways, Im outta here. PAYCEY!!!!!!!!! ~BeyondtheWall.

Do I Ever Sleep?!?

Sun, 12 Sep 2004 07:57:59 GMT

Man, I don't think I sleep anymore. Well not much at that anyways. Today was another fun-filled day of nothing. Woke up at the reasonable hour of 1pm and did NOTHING until Jesse came here around 9, then we met up with Vin, went by New Dorp and did AHHHHHHNOTHING. Then we were so bored and couldn't find anything to do that we came back to my house and played damn video games. Which honestly I dont care cuz i loves me some Soul Calibur... but still! Im sick of being broke and being confined to a house because I don't have money. I swear, I need to get my fuckin lazy ass up and just go look for a job. Its just a pain in the ass to do without a car, I can't just get up and go all over the place to look for a job. Ehh whatever, I will be making it a factor to go sometime this week cuz I'm really fuckin sick of this shit. Anyways, Ummmmmmm "Friends get used and re-used" Thats my motto from now on, thats all anyone ever does anymore and no one has any respect. CAN NO ONE OPEN THIER GODDAM EYES? CAN'T THEY FUCKIN SEE? No. No, they can't. Why can't most chicks have the mind perspective I have, then maybe JUST maybe, they'd be able to keep some of thier friends and put thier priorities in the right places. Ohhhh whatever. 'It ain't my beef yo'. Ok, Im getting delusional, its almost 4 in the damn MANIN'!! Alrighty all, Im outtie like trouttie. PEICES! ~Save me.BEYOND.

At Vin's...

Sat, 11 Sep 2004 04:00:40 GMT

Why Ello Ello!!! yeaaa so i'm chillin here at Vin's... nothing to do. Tonight was pretty beat. I had school today, same ol', then came home to do NOTHING of course. Lauren came over and we just sat around, I swear I was going to kill myself. IM SO SICK OF BOREDOM. There's really nothing to do on this damn island. So im here now, playing some video games and shit. Alrighty all Im outtie! ~Beyond

Bor to the Izord... DAMN!

Fri, 10 Sep 2004 05:11:50 GMT

YEAAAAAAAAA Im fuckin bored man!! omg. So I did like NOTHING today. As usual... NAH actually I saw some old friends who I really miss so it wasn't bad. We chilled at my house then met up with some people at Lighthouse Hill. And of course I had school, but only for an hour today. FUN TIMES FUN TIMES! You know those things gold diggers used to use to shake around dirt so all the small particles would fall through and all the gold would be left in it? Yeaa I want a GIANT one of those to sort out who my true friends are. HAHAHAHHA just imagine the process of it all. Thats fuckin hysterical. Oh mannnn.

Imjustal Oo zA: Why am I awake?
Imjustal Oo zA: :-P
XBeyondtheWallX: to talk to meeeeeeee
XBeyondtheWallX: hahaha
Imjustal Oo zA: AAAHAHAHAH
Imjustal Oo zA: About?
XBeyondtheWallX: :-D
XBeyondtheWallX: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
XBeyondtheWallX: life?
Imjustal Oo zA: LMAO
XBeyondtheWallX: hahaha
Imjustal Oo zA: I don't have a life....the end
XBeyondtheWallX: HAHAHAHHAHAHA
XBeyondtheWallX: wait..............me too.
XBeyondtheWallX: oh man!
Imjustal Oo zA: You go to school you come home and shower to do nothing ... The end
XBeyondtheWallX: hahahahahahahahaaaaahahahahahhaahaha
XBeyondtheWallX: ohhhhhh man, wtf... you know my life.
XBeyondtheWallX: lol
Imjustal Oo zA: We lead such amazing lives
XBeyondtheWallX: you go to work, come home and hang out with me and mike! ohhh man, you got it made in the fuckin shade dude
Imjustal Oo zA: Oh man
Imjustal Oo zA: EXCITING
XBeyondtheWallX: hahahahaha
XBeyondtheWallX: you love it
XBeyondtheWallX: dont deny it
Imjustal Oo zA: Oh yes

Thought this convo was interesting haha, kinda funny If you think about it.

Yea well, im bored... Im gonna go jump around or something... maybe even dance....

.....................................NAKED!!!!!!!!!!

Hahaha, nighty nighty all.

Hello Fellow Followers

Thu, 09 Sep 2004 04:33:41 GMT

Hi all. ::yawn:: I'm so tired... Didn't get much sleep last night, probably only about 3 hours or so. Hadda wake up at 7 to get ready for school, POOPIE!!! Well im passing out early tonight thats for sure. Its only 12:30 and I already feel the sleep coming on. Tomorrow I have school but only for an hour and at 3:30, thank the lord. ANYWAYSSS so today Lauren and Vin came over, we just bummed out... watched Fight Club then Starsky and Hutch. I think just laying around all night is what made me more tired. Yeaaaa definitly. Alright before my face bashes down on the keyboard, IM'a go. Love you all, hugs and Keeeeesis!

Just CHALLIN!!!!!!

Sun, 05 Sep 2004 07:28:33 GMT

Hung out with JesseMAO today Wo0T!! Had some family friends over earlier, then I met Jesse at the train at like 9 or so... We went to good ol' starbucks. Got me my infamous caramel frap and I was goodies for the night! Then we headed back here and took a bunch of STUPID ASS PICS and even animated two of them... HAHA ENJOY!!!

Wo0T!

MWAHAHAHHAHAHA YOU KNOW YOU LOVE EET!

Dont Care, FUCKOFF.

Sat, 04 Sep 2004 00:24:16 GMT

You heard me, I don't care anymore. Everyone needs to fuckoff and I guess they've already started doing it. Nobody cares about anyone but thier other halves anymore and Im fuckin sick of it... HMMM this is now like what, the 6th friend to do this to me? I need new friends. Im sick of crying, Im sick of bullshit. Sick of you and sick of everyone.

Pics from the party!

Fri, 03 Sep 2004 03:35:11 GMT

DOESN'T DRINK 'EM BUT HE ORGANIZES 'EM!

Big bro all nice and DRUNKARD!

Chris destoying Vin's precious creation...

I was having lots o' fun!

Thats all for now! YEA HEA!!!!!!!

BORED BORED BOREDDDDD!

Fri, 03 Sep 2004 02:28:06 GMT

Yeaa so today I had school from 3:30-4:30. Not bad at all, had a math class. Tomorrow I have the same class but from 2:30-4:30... then a break till my 10-6 day on monday!! OH WAIT!!! NO SCHOOL MONDAY! Woohoo to Labor Day! So I came home from school and did absoluuuuutely nothing. Fun times, fun times. Whatcha gon' do. Anyways I'm out... way tired. Bye all, PLEASANT NIGHTMARES!

Too much for one post.

Thu, 02 Sep 2004 08:00:04 GMT

Damn, where do I start? Alright so I left you off with me being mad at the world... Well I still am but Im not all down about it. FUCK EVERYONE, Im not gonna get upset over it anymore. Well lets see... Me, Jessica, Lia, Melissa and Jenna all went down to PA to visit Allison at college from the 21st to the 24th or some shit like that. Had the mad fun time... met her friends and saw her new place, which I might add is absolutly adorable, and we played lots and lots of Flip Cup. Mighty nice drinking game I'd hafta say! The first day we were there we pretty much all rested and slept the first couple of hours since we didn't get much sleep the night before and headed over to Allie's at like 9AM. So we got there at 12, slept till about 3 and then thats when the drinking began. Yea you heard me right... 3 in the afternoon. Well it had started for Jenna, Melissa, Allison, Bill, DuJuan, and Sara. On the other hand me, Jess and Lia were still passed out. Then Allison came into her room to get something, woke me up and I was up from then on out. So I said fuck it and started to get ready then joined in on the festivities. So I guess you can say I started drinking at around 4 and about 129879 flip cup games and 20 beers later, it was about Midnight and we had all started to pass out. I guess due to lack of sleep and the many hours of drinking we had in us, we just couldnt stay awake. There was still a shitload of people there (since more came as the hours went by) and more kept coming even after we had sprawled all of our bodies across the living room floor. Allison started getting really pissed because all of these people were Sarah's friends and Sarah had already went to bed, telling us she was kicking these people out before she went to sleep. Which of course, she didnt do. So both owners of the apt. had gone to sleep and the friends still remained. So we were all fed up and by this point Allison was extremely fed up and kicked everyone out. Then to make matters worse some kid was SO RIDICULOUSLY DRUNK that he was all over the floor and like talking to himself and passing out all at the same time. The kid that brought him peaced on him, and people who knew him did the same... so he was stuck there and we didnt know what to do. So Allison being the person she is flipped out on some people and got him a way home... but not in time for him to not get sick. YEP YOU KNEW IT, damn kid threw up right on the floor even as we were shoving a bag in his face to use. Damn kid was such a moron, he pushed the bag outta the way and puked on the floor, HOW DAMN INCONSIDERATE? I woulda flipppppppped If I was Allison. NEVER! Alright so that was the first night (damn)... then we all got up in the AM, went over to the mall for a little then got home for some more FLIP CUP! This time we started at a decent hour of 7 and stayed up pretty late... well I know I did. I made LOVE to the toilet that night. I probably drank about 25 beers or so and I just couldnt handle it AT ALL. I couldnt even begin to express what I felt like and how many times I had to run from my sleeping spot to the bathroom to make it in time. I must have layed down and got up about three times until I decided to just pass out next to the toilet. I figured I'd be safe right next to it, and whenever I felt good enough I would go to bed. I woke up to be back at my spot, but I had NO IDEA how I got there. I was then later told by Jenna that she came into the bathroom and I shot up saying "Holy Shit, Im Still In Here?" then got up and went to bed. I do not recall any of this, but hey I got there. So we all got up, packed our shit and went to the school caf to get some eats. Then we were off and home we came. Alright so what happened after this??? Ummm well Val had a birthday party on the day of my birthday which I attended and had quite the bit of fun... drank some beers (only like 3 this time), played some pool... met some guys, etc. Val sucha sweetheart she had everyone sing Happy Birthday to me too (we do have the same name and all) and even had me blow out the candles with her. THENNNNN the next day I had my bday party, which I then invited her of course, and shit was HECTIC. I invited way too many people and I was too worried about keeping the place in line and shit to have fun for myself. I played two games of beer pong which the second was HORRIBLE due to the fact that I had an ametuer drunk kid on my team spilling beers over and on me and it just sucked. But I had fun just hanging with everyone and seeing some people who I dont get to see as often anymore. So It was cool, I pretty much chilled with the sober bunch, lol. Umm, Im not talking to Soto, Lauren hurt her knee and has to use crutches, Jess and Jonny have gotten closer and it seems they will soon become Lauren and Soto... I hate to say it, but I see it coming. I love them both to death and I hope it doesnt get to that extreme. Being how Jonny is and how I've noticed Jessica caring more and more, who knows. Soon she leaves for a week to be with him in Florida and who knows what that will bring. And so there leaves what happened today... I had school (YES SCHOOL STARTED WO0T!) from 10-1 then I came home, chilled out, then went to Vinny's house. We played lots o' Soul Calibur and just hung out. Mike came by for about 20 minutes then said he had to leave due to his "tiredness". But I had fun, I never really hung out just me and Vinny... Or maybe I have at the house on Burgher... ehh too burnt to remember. But It was chill times and I wish more of my days would go so easily. Alright well before my fingers fall off and I pass out being it is 4 in the morning, IMA LEAVIN. G'night all, pleasant dreams.

I Just Hate Everyone Today.

Thu, 19 Aug 2004 21:50:36 GMT

People and thier STUPID fuckin drama? WHY IS HE SUCH A BABY? I'm not even gonna get into it, just pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. Some people need to give it a rest with thier stupid baby bullshit. Why must everything be turned into a bigger deal than what it is? Its so fuckin ridiculous... I wish people could realize the things that they say are just moronic. I don't understand people sometimes. I can't stand myself today. You know there really is NO reason for me to wake up everyday If im just gonna sit around ALL DAY and wait for when people have time for me. Its the truth and no one see's it. "Oh Val, don't be silly WE LOVE YOU" blah blah blah. It's all babble to me. Until its proven, I won't believe. I just need someone to cheer me up, I need to feel loved, I need to be loved. I feel so empty, I feel so hollow, I feel as If I mean nothing, I am no one. I wish I had someone to lay next to me and hold me in thier arms until all my problems were solved.

Things just get worse...

Thu, 19 Aug 2004 19:26:10 GMT

Yea, everything seems to just be getting worse. I'm falling deeper and deeper into this never ending black whole of depression. I hope going to PA this weekend will just get my mind off everything and make me get into a better mood. Ehhh actually its more like I just hope to get trashed and forget about things for a while. Somebody I know died last night. So sad, tragic it seems. One of Nando's friends passed last night after he got into a bike accident. Died before he even got to the hospital... uhhh so sad. SEE? IT JUST GETS FUCKIN WORSE! Im stumped. Have nothing more to say, I'll be back later.

What more is there to say?

Tue, 17 Aug 2004 23:19:54 GMT

What the fuck more IS there to say? I dont know. Im sitting here bored off of my mind and I've never felt like such shit. Only slightly physical, mainly mental. Im just rundown and depressed. I hate to say the same shit I always do, but I'm just so alone. No one can really understand I guess, no one seems to realize or understand when they ask me to explain how I feel. I can't really explain how I feel. There is not much more to say except.... Save me, for I am now beyond the wall. It's too late for me now, Im already dead.

Soon my hair will be grey.

Tue, 17 Aug 2004 01:48:22 GMT

OKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK how long has it been now? Its almost 10 and he's still not here. Soon my hair will be grey.

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Tue, 17 Aug 2004 00:11:13 GMT

What a weekend I had. Well actually it all started on Thursday. Jessica, me, Blaise and his girlfriend all went to Crobar to see Armin Van Buuren. Wow is all I can say. I had such an awesome time and this place was so incredible. It was supposed to be held in Central Park but because of the expected weather it was changed to the Crobar... It ended up not even raining but it didnt even matter because this place was worth it. I got drunk and danced my ass off. I've never fuckin danced like I did that night. I had to be dancing for at least 4 hours straight, no exaggeration. But yea, it was really fun... Then on Friday we had a chill night because we were so beat from the night before. Just Boris, Alyssa, Mike and Vin came over to Jessica's and we just bummed around. Mike passed out on my lap and at one point "woke up" and just kept saying "oh shit, oh shit" over and over grasping his phone close to him, turned over and passed out with his face in the couch. It was quite a hysterical moment. Vin buggin out when the TV went on was fuckin funny too. The TV was so loud it scared the shit out of all of and and resulting in Vinny do some karate type moves. That was about it for that night, watched the Boondock Saints... awesome movie, then took Vin and Mike home at like 3 or so. Now here comes the exciting night... On Saturday Jer had a bday party at his house where we WIPPED ass in beer pong, lol. I drank so many beers that night Im surprised I didnt get alcohol poisoning. I dont know what I was thinking and what would possess me to just continue drinking that much as the hours passed. I would have to say I had about 20 beers or so again with no exaggeration. We all ended up getting kicked out around 11 so we all headed over to Jessica's house. Me and Jess did some crazy dancing in the car on the way there which leaded to moshing and running into walls once we got into the house. Hey it was quite fun. We drank some more, frolicked in the rain, went in the hot tub for about 5 hours, drank more, played some games, drank more... so on and so forth. I ended up staying up until 9am and woke up at ten the next hour. Then I came home at around 11, cleaned my house and then entertained for people I havent seen in about 3 years or so. Joy that was fun, I ended up passing out on the poor girl and by the time I got up they had to leave. Oh well, It was a rough night before. I fell asleep at 9 last night to Jonny waking me up just an hour later. I hardly remember the convo and I dont know If I had even said goodbye to him. I passed out again and didnt wake up until noon. Damn good sleep. So that was it. Crazy times... today I've been sitting around waiting for this piece of shit to be fixed and it FINALLY is. Now I wait on Jonny (let's see how long parlay master takes to get here). Poor Jessica is at home all sickly and stuff so he's going to visit her and then head over here. Alright, I'll be back if he takes forever. Bye bye alien folk.

Sleep? Can you hear me? Are you there?

Sat, 07 Aug 2004 08:18:09 GMT

WHY CANT I SLEEP? This sucks so bad. Im still at Jessica's, decided to sleep here, or stay and NOT sleep by the way it seems... Im fuckin freezing. Everyone left about half hour ago. My brother left without saying goodbye and he left poor JR passed out on the bathroom floor. Damn kid's gonna be so confused when he comes back to consiousness. Imagine that, you open your eyes to total darkness... smells like urine and vomit, you figure hey I must have threw up in my bed and pissed myself a little last night... until your eyes get used to the darkness and BAM! You smash your damn head on the brim of a fuckin toilet seat. Oh good morning to you!! That has to be quite the rude awakening. Oh well, its not me. I've learned my lesson not to be a RAGING ALCOHOLIC! Damn guys, what is wrong with you, dont you know when your limit is? Do you really wanna have your lips against someone else's toliet all night? Ughhh nasty. Anyways, tonight was ok I guess. Didn't smoke at all... I dont plan on ever smoking again. NOTHING. No smoke for these already bruised lungs. I had some jello shots and BOY were they strong. I had only a faw (maybe 15 or 20) and I was quite buzzed for a little bit. Then I kinda passed out in the water bed for a little while with Jessica and Jonny. She passed out for good a couple of hours ago, and stop responding to human contact quite a long time ago. Then I just talked to Jonny and he made me give him "the chills" as always. Everyone was fuckin with JR, I was in and out of sleep mode and didnt have any energy to get up but luckily the bathroom was right next to the room I was in. Couple of pics were taken but honestly, I have no clue what they did to the poor kid. This has happened was too often ::puts head in hands:: Anyways, Im sitting here watching this damn screen warp in and out due to the deliriousness. (If thats even a fuckin word) Alright, I MUST go and try to get some sleep, I think the sky is getting lighter and If I stay up any longer I think I'll end up bashing my head into a wall. G'night all, wish me luck.

Which Happy Bunny Are You?

Fri, 06 Aug 2004 23:55:24 GMT

you are the "you're so dumb" happy bunny.
you are brutal in your words and enjoy putting
others down.

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

HAHAHAHAHAHA Awesomeness.

What Kind of Kiss Are You?

Fri, 06 Aug 2004 23:21:39 GMT

You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make
sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,
it can be very satisfactory if he/she is into
you playing the dominant role MEORW!

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

MMmMmMmMmMm Baby, Im CRAZY!

YELLO!

Fri, 06 Aug 2004 23:04:08 GMT

Hello peoples. Whats up? Yea yea same here. So I took all my tests for CSI (finally) and I hafta go back on the 10th for guidance and registration. Im so exciting Im finally fuckin' going back to school. You dont understand... I miss school. WoW. I, Valerie, miss school. I want to wake up early and sit in class, I wanna have homework, I wanna write reports. Im a fuckin corn for saying it, but Its better than wasting my brain away sitting on my ass all day staring at this thing. Then on the 12th I have an Armin Van Buuren concert at Central Park, WOOHOO. Thats gonna be alot of fun. Gonna have myself some candy and dance like a fool to some trance music. Oh man, Im getting excited just thinking about it. Ive been to many concerts, and a bunch of clubs. But I've never actually seen a DJ that I've heard of live. Its gonna be CRAZYYYYYY. Yea, Im gettin HOT. haha. Right now I'm sitting here at Jessica's bored. She's getting ready to see the same people that she sees everyday, lol. She looks the same before and after she gets ready, I dont understand why she takes so long. It doesnt make sense to me. She doesnt NEED IT! lol. Anyways Im gonna go, people shall be here soon. Buh bye!

~Don't Dream It, Be It~

HOWDY EVERYONE!!!

Tue, 15 Jun 2004 21:22:32 GMT

Hello All! Its been a little bit... I totally fuckin forgot about this thing. Hmmm where shall I begin? Well life's been sucking balls, as usual but hey there is nothing I can do about it. Everyone around me is going from being a single to a pair except me. I usually wouldnt give a shit about something like that but It's the fact that alot of my friends forget that they even have friends once they get a boyfriend/girlfriend. Ehh whatcha gonna do about it. There's nothing that can be done really. Uhh othwerwise things are looking somewhat up for me. I went to CSI the other day to register for the September classes but for some reason they didnt have my application (goddam Goldberg never sent it out)... So I hadda sit there forever and fill out another one. Now I hafta wait two weeks to get my letter of acceptance, and then after that I hafta wait ANOTHER week to get this package showing me where I hafta go for guidance, register for my classes and take the tests that are given before you even start college. So at least I got somewhere and Im finally gonna be starting school again... WOOHOO!!!! wo0o0p wo0o0p. So happy. And then yesterday... no wait, the day before... I went to the mall with Jessemarie and PRA and we went into Torrid because Adam wanted to talk to Suzanne. She said she would try to hook me up with a job at G&G... Suzanne help me? Umm odd, but who cares. I need money so desperately I'm about to sell my body on a street corner. Nah, I wont let it get that far. Anyways, Im not even home... I gotta get outta here. Laters all. Peacey!

What can I say?

Sun, 14 Mar 2004 08:00:15 GMT

Damn... What can I say huh? Tonight was really a fucked up night. Period. Thats all there is to it. Alright, Keg party... Carl's house. Starts out all good, people playing games getting really drunk, then getting really loud. People started complaining about the noise so we all try the best we can to keep it down, but you knowwwww when there's about 40 people in one place, getting drunk, it's pretty hard to keep it down. So then my brother and Carl decide to go outside and wrestle. Bad idea period. I wasn't exactly outside (Wink), but I know it had to be getting loud. One of the neighbors called the cops and everything got fucked up. We all had to peace as soon as possible and I guess some people just didnt get out in time. Soto, Big Rob, Little Rob, Chris Ricca, and Joehead all get arrested. Luckily I got out in time. I dont even wanna mention the things I've done tonight. Extreme drunkeness = do bad things. I feel disgusted with myself bottom line. My brother made me feel like shit when I got home. Im not gonna get into that either. So much shit, too little time and energy to fuckin explain everything. I dont know, there really is nothing more I want to say right now... People think less of me, people are mad at me. FUCKED UP SHIT. Done. Bottom line.

Ohhh My Stomach! Get it out of me!!

Fri, 20 Feb 2004 05:22:10 GMT

Whats up you little monsters... Yea, Oh so very tired am I. I didn't get much sleep at all last night. Everyone hung out at Christine's and then me and Jessica slept over there. We were up real late doing things unknown to whoever is reading this, then after we partook in the activities we couldn't fall asleep. After I finally fell asleep I was then woken up by Christine at 10:30 in the morning saying that she didnt want to drive me home and I should just peace with Jessica. So I came home real early and then couldn't fall back asleep. Sucks MAJOR Bawls. I fuckin layed around in pain on my couch for a couple of hours then convinced Christine to come over and hang out (which makes no sense... I could have continued to sleep at her house and then we woulda came back to mine at the time she fuckin actually came over) AHHH. Today was horrible. Well, horrible for the most part. We met up with Soto, Johnny, Jess, Joe head, and Lauren. Smoked a blunt.... SAT AROUND AND DID NOTHING, thats about it. But the feeling was all mutual. We were all tired and all real beat so we pretty much just gave each other massages and sat there in what was mostly silence... besides the occasional 'click clicks' and 'boop boops' of cell phones. Me and Jess left Soto's at like 11 because I really didn't think I was going to last another minute. I was hurting and passing out and it just wasn't a fun thing to be occurring. So we stopped at Taco Bell and came back here, watched the best show on earth (If you dont know, then your beat and SMITE YOU!)... She left here like 10 minutes ago and now Im struggling to stay awake. I feel like I've been working out for days straight or something. Why would I be hurting this much? I dont get it. I need to severely cut down on much of the activities that have been taking place around me lately. Alright well, if I sit here staring at this monitor any longer I think I may just put my fist threw it. G'night you evil beings you.

Well spank my monkey and choke my chicken!

Thu, 05 Feb 2004 07:08:52 GMT

Whattup world. Oh man, boredom sucks the balls. I didn't do shit today, it makes me depressed. I haven't had one of these little phases in a while and I feel myself slipping deeper and deeper into another one of my pits of depression. Im not really depressed at the moment, but it feels as if my days pass, I'll just be getting worse and worse. I dont know Im a fuckin weirdo. Dude, I dont even know what Im writing. Im sick of the same old shit. WHY MUST I ALWAYS COMPLAIN? Ok, im shutting up. Yea so........................................
Goodbye world, I'll be back when the sun sets in the east and the earth rotates on a 32 degree angle.